Absurd Rap Beef Du Jour: Nick Cannon vs. Eminem

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Imagine saying to someone “Not only will I give you a free $100,000, I will let you publicly humiliate me.”  It seems like the sort of thing you’d be insane to say; at the very least, you’d need a wicked public humiliation fetish to pull it off well.  Yet here we have Nick Cannon, American impresario, rapper, and media personality whom you’d likely say “Ohhhh that guy from America’s Got Talent, okay, I wondered why he hung around” if you saw him.  Fresh on the heels of rumors that he’s dragging his heels on his high-profile divorce from estranged wife Mariah Carey, Cannon has issued a $100,000 rap battle challenge against  Detroit hip hop legend Eminem, a man who once filmed a blockbuster movie about how his prowess as a battle rapper led to his astonishing and enduring fame.  If this seems like a foolhardy waste of time to you, I can only say “Welcome to Nick Cannon.”

There is no word yet on whether Eminem will accept the challenge, and it would probably be best for him not to.  What would the point be, after all?  Nick Cannon is obviously going through some issues right now and the worst thing Em could do would be to involve himself in that nonsense.  At the same time, of course, the Marshall Mathers LP 2 was by and large terrible, and it would be interesting to see if the skills of Em’s fiery youth still held up today.  Of course, this isn’t the first time Cannon has gone after Em.  In 2009 Mariah Carey released a song called “Obsessed” that took aim at Eminem.  Em fired back in typical fashion with “The Warning“, a track that gets downright nasty and shows that anyone who thinks that Nick Cannon has even half a chance in this supposed “battle” is probably just delusional.

I’m looking forward to it if it actually happens, though.  It doesn’t get much funnier than that.

 

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