Caramelizing Onions Does Not Take Four Hours (and other cooking tips)
Someone on Twitter tried to convince everyone that properly caramelizing onions took four hours of work, cooking low and slow and stirring every fifteen minutes. While I am sure there are some dishes where this might be an appropriate method – some have pointed out that he might have been using them for French onion soup, for example – I am here to tell you that you can caramelize onions in a LOT less than four hours. Mix a bit of olive oil and butter and once that’s shimmering add your onions in. Put the heat on medium low/low and just leave ’em for ten minutes. Add a bit of salt and, if you’re feeling antsy, a BIT of sugar (not much at all, don’t overdo it for the love of god). Then add like a 1/4 cup of water and leave it. Come back and stir them once in a while so they don’t stick to the bottom too much, but you want them to stick a little so they brown properly. It should take them maybe an hour tops to caramelize properly. Four hours, my good lord. Ain’t nobody got time for that.
In fact:
Do Not Feed The Machine After Midnight (Or At All)
I was originally not going to comment on this because it was just screencaps of text messages, but the rumours have escaped containment. So, the messages implied that Random House was giving editors the go-ahead to upload author’s manuscripts into their new AI system if they felt warranted – with or without the permission of the author. Further details indicated that the publisher wants to use the AI to develop summaries, pull quotes, and talking points for press releases. I don’t know the actual truth of these rumours – I want to be very clear about that – but it is not outside of the realm of possibility for a major publisher to think this is a good idea. Another thing I would like to be very clear on: it is a bad idea. First of all, it’s anti-labour. Human beings can very easily make summaries and the rest, and likely with better results than the machine can. The machine cannot understand human emotion, after all. It can make some general approximations on it, but it cannot actually get it. Second, it’s anti-writer – the idea treats manuscripts like interchangeable content, rather than individual works of art. Summary-making would just be the beginning, of course: the dream for the publisher is to be able to generate infinite content without the need to deal with (or, importantly, pay) writers. Uploading manuscripts into the machine just facilitates this eventual clash between writer and corporation.
Singles Roundup
Jamie XX – “IT’S SO GOOD”
The Smile – “Friend Of A Friend”
MGMT – “Nothing To Declare”
Low Girl – “Icarus”
IDLES – “Gift Horse”
Waxahatchee – “Right Back To It”
Four Tet – “Loved”
TTSSFU – “Baggage”
Lesssugär – “look down on the earth”
Notable Anniversaries
Albums Turning 60
January 20th: The Beatles – Meet The Beatles (Capitol) – Peaked at #1 U.S.
Albums Turning 50
January 17th: Joni Mitchell – Court And Spark (Asylum) – Peaked at #2 U.S., #14 U.K.
Albums Turning 40
January 16th: Cameo – She’s Strange (Atlanta Artists Records) – Peaked at #27 U.S.
January 23rd: Bon Jovi – Bon Jovi (Mercury) – Peaked at #43 U.S., #71 U.K.
Albums Turning 30
January 24th: Underworld – Dubnobasswithmyheadman (Junior Boy’s Own) – Peaked at #12 U.K.
January 25th: Alice In Chains – Jar Of Flies (Columbia) – Peaked at #1 U.S., #4 U.K.
January 25th: Meat Puppets – Too High To Die (London) – Peaked at #62 U.S.
Albums Turning 20
January 21st: Air – Talkie Walkie (Virgin) – Peaked at #61 U.S., #2 U.K.
Albums Turning 10
January 17th: Warpaint – Warpaint (Rough Trade) – Peaked at #43 U.S., #9 U.K.
January 20th: Thee Silver Mt. Zion Memorial Orchestra – Fuck Off Get Free We Pour Light On Everything (Constellation)
January 21st: Against Me! – Transgender Dysphoria Blues (Xtra Mile) – Peaked at #23 U.S.
